Each step that I’ve taken, person I’ve met, story that’s unfolded has led me to your doorstep. The journey here has not been without fault or heartache but it’s been an honest effort and one I’m damn proud of. The path has been full of grit and resilience. Full of bravery and endurance. Full of learning forward and trying again.
You feel different. Your arrival was surprising almost. Last year was a whirlwind of self discovery and uncharted waters. How could time feel like it both stood still and moved at warp speed? There’s been so much undoing the last 365 days but also so much growth and resolve. With a new untethered direction there’s room to explore and reinvent in 2020. Maybe that’s why you caught me off guard? Where I stand now there’s no obvious direction, no worn in trail ahead, no feet to follow as you gaze down, trudging one foot in front of the other. I’m the leader in the front now forging new territory and taking in new scenery. That is both exhilarating and terrifying.
Now that we’ve met, 2020, I hope you can remind me to be gentle with myself. All good things take time and multiple efforts. Not knowing is ok. Knowing is ok. The journey in either direction will unveil the proper course over time and through experience. You know yourself and what you need. Listen and your gut will speak your truth.
Let’s focus on the good, 2020. For what we focus on grows. Let our thoughts be lovely and kind. The the critic’s voice fade and the truth override the noise. Let go of the heavy thoughts and guilt for they won’t serve our journey. Remind me that I am doing a beautiful thing. Assure me of my purpose and affirm me in my process. I know it won’t be without great effort and adaptability but let it always speak of great action, a kind heart and high character.
Offer me rest between the notes in our time together and encourage me to welcome it. Remind me to breathe, pause and be still. Rest doesn’t make you weak. Rest requires strength. Strength to know your limits and value your energy. Strength to be quiet and let the silence speak. Strength to know today might be all there is. I am better for all that I am meant for when I’m not loving from an empty vessel. Rest will serve you here and always.
I want experience deep joy and life altering love. I want experience adventures that satisfy the soul. I want to be known and loved still. I want to experience the presence of the moment and the gift of the past. I want to experience security that invites you to keep pursuing even still. I want to make a difference and love others well. Really well.
Let’s learn to rest in the comfort of God’s arms, the One who rejoices with each step we take towards Him. Give me the eyes to see myself how my Creator does, perfect in every way covered by a love that overrides all things. 2020, let’s push past fear and know we will never be forgotten no matter how lonely the world can make us feel. I want to feel the safety in God’s plan for my life and confident that His ways are always higher regardless of what my current vantage point may say.
2020, I want our best. Our authentic, vulnerable, honest best. Let’s be patient as our relationship unfolds knowing we are always meaning the best for one another. Let’s be gentle when unforeseen expectations unravel. Let’s not force things, but flow with things. And most of all, let’s be proud of what we do, together.