I am thrilled to introduce you to Abbey and I know you’ll adore her. Abbey is one of those people you meet and think to yourself, “Is she really always this nice?”. Yes, the answer is yes. Her genuine care for others is inspiring to me in so many ways. Abbey’s heart beats for many people, but especially mom’s to young kiddos. I know you’ll love her grace filled perspective on motherhood as much as I do.
Hi, my name is Abbey and I’m a recovering lonely, fearful, stagnant mom. Live in this moment with me, if you will.
You’ve just moved to a new town for your husband’s job. You’re the new one… again.
You are a first time mom with a 4mo old baby. At her last check up, with the new pediatrician, you find she is in the 0.01% for her weight, and everyone is concerned.
Your last job was teaching 30 sixth graders. You were told you wouldn’t be rehired. Now you feel like you’re hiding from that failure by choosing to stay home.
Every time you walk into a new space, you are so anxious you might just throw up… but at least if you do, you’d have a reason to go home.
You’re half-heartedly doing everything in life, because you’ve heard you should follow your dreams and do what you love, but you don’t even know how to dream or what would hit that ever-elusive target that defines what it is you ‘love’ to do.
You want friends. You do. But the scars of failed friendships burn like Harry’s forehead every time you try to connect with another woman.
Can you relate to any of that?
That was my very real situation about 3 years ago. Isolation, anxiety, and loss define that season. But, my friend, if you’re nodding along with this story, knowing the script all too well, I want you to read me loud and clear: there is light at the end of this tunnel.
There are still hard things. There are new struggles with each season. But it was because of that time in my life, that a heart and passion for other mamas with young children was planted and has been growing rapidly.
I know how hard it is. I know the feelings of wild joy and swooning over the beautiful child(ren) God has blessed you with. But I also know the darker, more difficult side of guilt, misplaced expectations, judgment, and feeling like you’re drowning.
That’s where the concept behind Mom Zero was born- in the valley.
I want you to know full well that you do not have to go it alone. I want you to have community, even if it isn’t local. I want to work through the emotions with you. I want to figure out what it looks like to start every day at ground zero, leaving yesterday’s junk out of it, and waking up with a clean slate. I want a community with zero mom-guilt, zero expectations, zero judgment.
That is what I longed for in that season. It is what I still long for! It is what Mom Zero is.
As I continue to walk this road, now a mother of two sweet girls, Avaya (3 ½) and Annistyn (15 mo), I am thankful to be on the other side of that particular struggle! There are still hard days. I still fail all the time. I still get sad, mad, frustrated, crabby, and whiney (to name a few). BUT, I have learned more about my Savior and myself. I’ve implemented helpful daily habits. I have shifted my focus from the battle to the blessings. I study and learn to help fight the negative. In doing these things, I find that each day I become a better version of myself. I become a better mama. I become a better wife.
When picturing your life and yourself as a mother, it’s easy to picture and feel like an empty cup. I once heard a metaphor that changed my outlook. Imagine a vase sitting under the faucet. What often happens as mothers is, if we even manage to turn on the faucet, we only let it fill us up once, and then we tip over, filling up the cups of our husbands and children, finding ourselves empty by the end of the day- assuming we even make it that long. But what if we left the faucet running? What if we didn’t tip over? What if we, as the vase, stood tall the entire time? What would eventually happen? We would be continuously full AND we would be overflowing to everyone within our reach. Isn’t that a beautiful picture?
I want Mom Zero to be a faucet for you, the place where you can go to be continually filled up so that you overflow love and grace and peace and energy to all those within your reach. And where you know you are loved!