To Read On a Hard Day

I know what you’re thinking.

How? Because I’ve been there. And if I’m not now, I will be again in the future.

You felt the weight of it today. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Every step you took, every thought you had, it was hard to escape. Breathing became a conscious decision. Your jaw is tight, your shoulders are tense, there’s a lump in your throat and your body is begging you to crawl back into bed. Each moment of today felt like it moved in slow motion. 

You muster up the courage, energy and stamina to face it all head on again only to feel the heavy set in. Again. It feels like too much. It’s isolating. It’s paralyzing. It’s suffocating.

I’m sorry.

It’s just not fair. 

I wish I had a magic wand for things like this, pain like yours, stories like ours.

But here’s what I do know: it’s going to be ok. All of it. You. You are going to be ok. YOU are going to be ok. You are going to be OK. Better than ok. You will come out the other side of this stronger, wiser and more resilient that you can even imagine. You will tap into strength you didn’t know you owned. You will find the resources of persistence, courage and grit. Because you are a fighter. You don’t quit, you never have. I know it sounds tempting some days but still you always rise above it all.

You are not alone. Don’t think for one single second that you have been left to fend for yourself. Don’t you dare fold to the thought that you are meant to carry this load alone. I know you’re tempted to pull your story close and pretend everything is fine. The temptation to mask the hurt and the hard is so alluring but don’t let it. Let your vulnerability propel you farther along as you face this head on with those who love you to your left and to your right.

I’m so proud of you. You continue to press in and learn forward through the struggle. It’s inspiring. Really. Your determination gives momentum to mine. Even though you don’t have all the answers or know where this new season will take you, you wear the grey space, the waiting, so beautifully. You’ve turned your detour into an adventure and it is something so lovely and full of hope. Even in the most broken of places you still find joy and it speaks so loudly of your heart and character in training.

Even though we don’t know why and we don’t know how, I do know you will look back on this season one day and it will feel so different. Details will have faded, the hurt will have softened some and the ‘you’ we know now will have evolved. You won’t fit where you used to and you’re not meant to either. You’ll have new pieces to discover, more room to expand and new stories to write because of the work you are doing now.

Keep going. Keep showing up. Give yourself grace in the process and rest when you need to but don’t you dare stop. Stay in the ring. We need what you’ll learn and who you are becoming. 

It will all be ok. Better than ok, remember? And you will make it through. I promise you that. I believe in you and will keep doing so until you can see what I see. 

So for now, take a breath and hear me say, YOU are doing it, my friend. You really, truly are.